Your Shadow
by IWalkBlindlyIntoTheShadows
Summary: Alone and broken, a tom tries to find solace during the night.


_**A rewrite of Shadow Of You, an old one-shot of mine. It involves my OC, Silver [the reincarnation of my OC, Silverstar], and my friend's OC Lost/Lost Brother [I often shorten it to Lost since it's not his real name anyway].**_

 _ **I may do a written story about Silverstar and her Clan, but it's not set in stone, seeing as I have projects on other websites. However, that also doesn't mean a permanent no.**_

* * *

The light of the half moon filtered quietly through the clouds, reflecting off a puddle resting by the side of a road. Looking down into the murky, oily water, a large white tom sat quietly on an old brick fence which had seen much better days. His silver-tinted ears twitched when he heard something rustle in the forest that rested across the road. Looking up, hope twinkled in his blue-green eyes. However, he was met with disappointment as it was only a hungry-looking raccoon sniffing about. Letting out a heavy sigh, Lost scolded himself.

 _You know better than that. She's gone. She's gone and it's all your fault!_ Digging his claws into the brick, he bit back the anger that filled his heart. Shaking his head, he told himself over and over that it wasn't his fault. Even if he had wanted to, she died doing what her kind were born to do: she was protecting her Clan. Had it not been the badger, it would have been a dog, on an enemy cat, and so on.

However, it didn't calm the storm in his head or ease the pain in his heart.

"Papa?" The small voice snapped him from his thoughts. Turning around, he spotted the silver tabby kit who spoke to him. Icy claws gripped his heart every time he looked into her forest green eyes. She looked almost just like Silverstar... "What are you doing?"

"You should be asleep, Silver." Lost said in a stern voice. She didn't need to see him like this. Looking at her, he knew that she already suspected something was wrong. Only three moons old and she was already so smart... Though Silver wasn't hers, he couldn't help but wonder if the little tabby got that from Silverstar.

"Why are you out here so late? It's cold..." It was as if the kit hadn't even heard him tell her to go to bed. There was a distant look in her eyes, as if she wasn't even looking at him directly.

"To think."

A moment of silence after his answer. However, it was broken when, with her eyes fixed on his, she spoke up again.

"What was the forest like, Papa?" He was easily taken aback. He rarely spoke of the forest around her. Heck, he had left the forest with her when she was only four weeks old. She shouldn't remember anything from that time, right? Before he even had time to stop her, the silver tabby struggled over the fallen bricks of the wall until she was right next to him. She looked towards the forest for a moment before looking back at Lost. Thankfully, she had been looking at NightClan, who owned the woods. The last thing he had wanted her to see was Silverstar's Clan... FireClan.

Locking eyes with the kit, he knew what he had to say.

"It's an evil place, Silver. Cats kill each other for no reason, leafbares are harsh, and the good don't last long," He tried his best not to sound upset, but it only worked so well as memories of him and Silverstar flashed vividly through his mind. He longed to hear her voice, to feel her soft fur, to hunt by her side... He longed for one more moment. In his pain, he quietly added. "It's no place for you."

The two sat in silence for a good minute or two, taking in the cool night air of leaffall, watching the forest. Again, Silver was the one who broke the silence.

"I hope Whitestar's doing alright..." Hearing Silver utter the name of Silverstar's deputy made the tom bristle in anger. How would she have known who that was?

"Go to bed. Now," He growled. Frightened, Silver looked up at him with scared, forest green eyes. She opened her mouth, but Lost looked her in the eye, the storm in his mind clouding him for a second. "Go back in there and go to bed to I will personally drag you in there."

With a terrified squeak, the kit took off towards the old, broken down twolegs nest on their side of the wall. Realizing what he had just done, Lost violently shook his head, trying to banish the rumbling dark thoughts. Though, it still disturbed him, especially since she had said Whitestar and not Whitesplash, which had been her name before she was FireClan's leader.

With his heart and mind heavy, he looked up at the stars.

* * *

 _"StarClan?" He scoffed. Silverstar rolled her eyes, but all in good humour. The two were walking on a beautiful newleaf night, the sky burning with tiny little lights. The she-cat looked undeterred after she had lost the rabbit._

 _"Don't act like this is the first time you've heard me say StarClan's name." Her voice was calm, yet had a hint of slyness he had grown use to._

 _"No, but I still think it's silly to believe that when you die you become a star."_

 _"Not become," Silverstar corrected, twitching her black-tipped tail. "Join. You go up there to shine the way for future warriors to come."_

 _As she continued to explain, Lost slowly found himself zoning out her words._

 _It was simply amazing to see her defenses drop while she talked about something she was passionate out. It didn't matter if it was her Clan, her beliefs, or just watching her observe her Clan. There was always this glimmer in her eyes that captivated him._

* * *

As he remembered the look in her eyes, he began to wonder that... If maybe... He'd be able to reach out to his mate, even he found it impossible to believe in the stars as she had done.

"Silverstar," Saying her name felt strange, almost as if he was saying it for the first time. "If you're really there, I just want to get some things off my chest... I want to believe you'll forgive me for everything I did. Not only did I abandon your Clan... I stole from them, too. I couldn't help myself. She looks so much like you. I don't know if FireClan will ever give up, but I know I can't give her back. Ever. I know it'd be the right thing, the thing you'd want me to do, but..."

He paused for a long time, trying to find his words.

"It's an unforgiving world where you're from, a world Silver should never know. I have to keep her away, keep her safe. Silverstar, I refuse to lose you to that place again. I want to keep her safe. I want to keep your memory alive."

He fixed his eyes on one of the brightest stars he could find, wondering if that was her.

"Silverstar, I love you."


End file.
